Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?