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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.