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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
Iām sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."