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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
My favorite beer is the next one.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.