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Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
I only accept apologies in cash.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
I start a lot of conversations with "goodbye" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked.
I`m running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.