Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.