Daily Silly Status

People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.

Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.

I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.

This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….. I’m just fat.

Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!

Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.

Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".

I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)

I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.

If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.

You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.

I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin

Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.

Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!