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Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
My pants are 75% off.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.