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They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
I say the things better left unsaid.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.