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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Lord, if I can`t be skinny, make my friends look fat.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.