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I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking??
That`s not how I met your mother.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness