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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won`t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game and I`ll play mine.
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.