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I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO