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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
My goal today is to lose this hangover and earn another
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)