Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!