Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.