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Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
The fox says you need to stop.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
I`ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-wife`s killer, but no one will do it.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.