Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.