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India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
thinking men should come with a carfax....
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes