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Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Nothing like calling off work and watching porn all morning.
Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I`m not good in bed.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Do angry people know about naps?
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.