Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."