Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
I believe in love at first episode.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
“Oh boy, I can’t wait to be productive today.” – said no one ever
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.