Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.