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It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
You had me at 0 mutual friends