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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.