Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
I`m really good at using the turkey baster as a sword and getting drunk and not being invited to Thanksgiving anymore.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.