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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Why does this membership application to the YMCA not have "The Village People" as an option for "How did you hear about us?"
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
I fake my LOLs
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
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If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the β€œclose this ad” button.
Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don`t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.