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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
My friends always use to say, "there`s plenty of fish in the sea." But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale.
Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.