Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
Safe words are for quitters.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.