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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Just burned 2000 calories. That`s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
It`s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.