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I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they`d leave that one on too.
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don`t try to run her life and I don`t try to run mine.
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.