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Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need smarter friends.
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor