Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Good thing Jan Brady`s older sister wasn`t named Beetlejuice
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."