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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?