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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!