Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbors complained about all the loud sex they are hearing from my house. So now I have to buy some headphones for my computer.
Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
I’m eating for two – me and that skinny girl inside my body. She likes cake, too.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.