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I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.