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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
That moment when being uncool, is cool