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I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.