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When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.