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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
What’s the answer to this question?
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.