Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.