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Does the Food Network deliver?
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?