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Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Honk if you wanna see the finger
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.