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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no money in there.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
This status is mine....I licked it.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
I do not argue, I explain why Iām right.
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
My mind has a mind of its own.
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs