Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
When the kids come home from school they close the door then almost immediately open another door..... The one to the fridge!!!!
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.