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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
When I say "It’s a long story" It usually means I just don’t want to tell you it.
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You had me at 0 mutual friends