Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
Bad decisions make good stories.