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Long story short, I love summaries.
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?