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I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...