Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?