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Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping SCREW YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.