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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.