Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape.