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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.