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Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
My Living Will says it`s okay to pull the plug on me, but I`d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.