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You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.