Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Is there another word for synonym?
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
If opportunity doesn`t knock, build a door.
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.